fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
