I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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