The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
