I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
