just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize