So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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