When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
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