hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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