If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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