if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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