Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
