i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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