I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
My breasts were aching with rage.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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