Where did you get a picture of my penis
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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