i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
This is classic penis vs brain.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
