I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
