we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
