How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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