Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
