we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
