Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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