who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Randomize
