she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
