Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
