They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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