I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Randomize
