singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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