I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
