ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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