Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
i've created a new STD.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Randomize
