I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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