Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Randomize
