So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
