you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
