But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize