what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
