Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
