I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
