I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
We talked him into tasing himself.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
