Is it normal to miss your booty call?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
