If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
