you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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