God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
