And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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