I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
