I've blown a few things in my day
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
