Dual....:-)
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
