Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
