Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
