We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
