i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
We talked him into tasing himself.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
