I don't remember. Are we still dating?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
vagina is talking i cant
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Never underestimate the power of titties
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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