why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
