She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
