That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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