I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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