apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Randomize
