You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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