so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
