I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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