Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize