everyone is single if you try hard enough
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
