3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
