id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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