so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
