in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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