can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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