things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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