meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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