Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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