It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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