I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
